Sunday, August 17, 2008

The true origin of the song 'Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey

The true origin of the song 'Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey':

Elbert P. Munkee was the head chemist and researcher studying semisynthetic psychedelic drugs in the ergoline family when he discovered what he called ''The ultimate truth, no longer to be hidden from the human mind.''. This drug was called Lysergic acid diethylamide or LSD. Now it is known mostly as 'Acid' in street slang. LSD became a vice and a cause for Elbert. Doctor Munkee, a chemist, psychologist and trippicist, openly took the drug and promoted it to fellow people from Amsterdam. He claimed that they should stay off of Marijuana and other street drugs because they weren't ''laboratory tested or doctor approved.'' like his precious LSD was at that time and in that particular vicinity. It should be noted that the only doctor who approved of it was Munkee himself. Elbert would take the drug and go on hours-long ''confession sessions'' where he would air out all of his questionable actions and somewhat amoral fantasies.

He became a cult leader and led numerous Amsterdamian youths and hobos into using his dangerous 'truth medicine', as he called it. ''You'll have nothing to hide with modern science's all-purpose truth medicine.'' he was quoted as saying in a sermon to his flock, just before trying to fly on an invisible pelican's back and falling off of his kitchen table. Around this time, the popular band known as The Beatles, from Britain, had toured through Amsterdam and been confronted by a very high Doctor Munkee. Munkee converted the band into users of LSD, resulting in numerous songs being written. Many of the songs were never published like ''Owoohadoobah hahaha!'' and 'On the sand, riding a crab taxi' which was penned by Ringo. Munkee's preaching of LSD as well as the band witnessing several ''confession sessions'' inspired John to write a tongue in cheek ditty called 'Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey'. Of course, monkey and Munkee are pronounced the same and no one would ever know.

That is, until Doctor Munkee finally passed away a few years ago in an insane asylum located by an Amsterdam brothel where he spent years after his cult followers lost interest and became wine drinking, yuppie businesspeople in charge of a line of disposable hemp underwear products. Once Munkee passed away, his lawyer released video footage of him with the band which showed John playing the song for him and telling him he'd written it about the good doctor. That solved the mystery once and for all about the meaning and origin of the song.

*Interesting note: Doctor Robert Freymann and Doctor Munkee were bitter enemies, oddly enough. The band actually attempted to bring them and their methods together in friendship and harmony by recording a mix that combined both Doctor Robert and Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey and adding the line ''We can work it out.'' over and over in the background. It didn't work. They always hated each other, bitterly.


Lucy from Hoeno said...

''Amsterdamian youths and hobos''. . . Okay, $20 fake online dollars says that was Matt and the titles of the Beatles songs were Stream of Consciousness Eddie. Am I right? lol

Lazy Third Eye said...

You *are* astute. But wrong, lol. This was all my post. I think Eddie's sense of humor is rubbing off on me though, lol. I think this post shows my sheer mastery of sheer bullshittery though, if nothing else.

Matt- moderator, editor, usually anonymous writer, contributor, director, liquor consumer and amateur historian of Lazy Third Eye.