Wednesday, July 2, 2008

It's been a while since my last post and you can thank the George Foreman Grill: By Stream Of Consciousness Eddie

So, I wanted to buy a George Foreman grill. One of those special ones that cook things on both sides so you know the food is done and you won't get big intestinal parasites, you know. The thing is, if you char the crap out of a piece of meat, you're good. Parasites and their eggs can't exist in charcoal, I guess. So, I call the company, right? I tell them how I'm a hard bargainer because that always lets 'em know not to try and screw me. They tell me that they don't bargain but I think we both know what that means. It means, this game is on like Donkey Kong bee-atch. So, I say it's not about the money. I say, I'm more than happy to buy three grills but I have a special request if that's gonna happen, right? I say, I need to buy them directly from George Foreman himself. They put me on hold. I was disconnected after fifteen minutes. I know what's going on. They're testing me. I'll wait for them to make the next move.

*Remember: You're not sure it's a genuine parasite protecting, thorough cooking George Foreman Grill until you're sure it's George himself selling it to you. That's how they get you and you get stuck with some Foreman knock-off crap.

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