Still No Question of Eddie's Sexuality: By Stream of Consciousness Eddie

I was feeling embarrassed because I couldn't get a homosexual song out of my head this morning. It's called ''I kissed a girl'' by Katy Perry. Now, there's nothing wrong with homosexual songs. I got no beef with 'em. It's that well-I'm straight. So it felt wrong to be singing such a gay song in my head. I was embarrassed and that was my problem is what I'm saying. Anyway, after a while I realized it's not gay if I'M the one singing it. I'm a man. It's no more gay than when I'm the one watching lesbian porn. Female homosexuality is male heterosexuality. See? Crisis averted.

*Remember: Everything Katy Perry talks about in that song is perfectly heterosexual for a man to do except for having a boyfriend. Wait-well-Oh, yeah. I forgot, in the song she has a boyfriend. . . Damned! Okay, so it's still a little gay for me to sing this in my head. Whatever. It's really catchy.